Fears

I realize that my last few entries haven't had as much of a "good mood feel" as the first few did, so I decided to continue this trend and share some of my fears that get me down.

First, my recent choice of majors scares me to death. It's the only one that's actually given me joy to think about, but it's also one that absolutely terrifies me at the same time. If I successfully become a teacher, people are going to trust their little kid's brains into my care for a few hours every day. Yes, I'm sure there's plenty of supports out there, but I'm one who always underestimates myself, and I'm terrified that I wont remember everything I need to, or I just all out won't be good at it. I know God can see me through, and he will, but I still have plenty of my own doubts....

Money scares me too. I know I need a job, but I've kind of put off looking for one since school started, I have so many classes and stuff with church coming up that I'm scared I'd just snap if I had a job too. I guess I'll have to wait and see what God leads me to here too....well I don't really guess, I know...but I also have patience issues :).

Finally, my mother scares me...I didnt get up to go to the yard sale this morning because I had a headache, so I chose to sleep in....she wasnt happy with me, so we'll see how this works out when she gets home...


In the meantime, I finally went to the University Center and made an appointment. Monday. This scares me too. Part of trying to get into a University means that I'm going to have to come up with more money. I'm scared if I took time off to work, that I'd never go back to school. I dont even know if I'll be able to take my classes I need to get in there in the fall. More tests of my Faith and Patience......hopefully I can pass